As an introvert, I had to learn how to protect myself from overcommitting. It took a very long time but I eventually learned how to set boundaries in a way that honoured and protected my mental health and stress levels. Once I mastered that, I discovered the next level-
mental boundaries.
These are the boundaries we have to set for ourselves against ourselves. Trust me though, these are life-giving boundaries. Once in place, you’ll understand how much freedom they give you.
Never before in the history of humanity have we had so much access to each other in our daily lives. Between social media and the personal internet and communication devices we carry in our pockets, we can look into the lives of someone else with the tap of a finger. It is all too easy to become wrapped up in comparison, judgement, distraction, self-pity and self-doubt.
And it can send you into a downward spiral if you’re not careful.
The fix?
Setting boundaries to guard our own mental headspace. It can look like this:
1. Unfollow anyone who seems to trigger angry or self-pity feelings. We’ve all had that one person that we “love to hate” but that energy is so low-vibration if I may use that term. It just means that it’s draining, not energizing. You might even want to take it a step further and think about why that person is causing such a reaction in you. Do they remind you of someone from your childhood? Do they represent something you wish you could have but don’t? Chances are, it’s not about them really, and that’s okay. Once you feel in a better headspace, you can follow them again if you enjoy their content.
1. Unfollow anyone who seems to trigger angry or self-pity feelings. We’ve all had that one person that we “love to hate” but that energy is so low-vibration if I may use that term. It just means that it’s draining, not energizing. You might even want to take it a step further and think about why that person is causing such a reaction in you. Do they remind you of someone from your childhood? Do they represent something you wish you could have but don’t? Chances are, it’s not about them really, and that’s okay. Once you feel in a better headspace, you can follow them again if you enjoy their content.
2. Comparison is the thief of joy.
3. Conscious language. This isn’t about being positive all the time or brushing away your feelings! It’s just about being aware of your reactions to things. Like if your kids are testing your patience and you say, “I’m about to lose it,” you probably will. But if you catch yourself and can instead say, “They’re just learning. I can have patience for this teachable moment,” you most likely will!
4. Practicing gratitude. It’s a reality check. This is my favourite practice for putting things into perspective.
5. Limit your phone time. I give myself “work hours” for social media and put away my phone at 8 pm and don’t pick it up again until 8 am. It took a little while to detox the FOMO, but now I really enjoy that window of phone-free time! I enjoy my own life SO much more.
6. Stop thinking about what other people will think if you ____. This one can take some more time to unlearn because it’s become such a habit. But we can unlearn bad habits!
I’d love to hear which of these you want to be more intentional with!
I’d love to hear which of these you want to be more intentional with!
One of the ways to be more successful in implementing something new is to surround yourself with other people doing the same thing. There is a whole group of us learning these new mental boundaries, join us here!
